Preparation #30 (Dating, Who and What?)

Sunday, August1, 1999

Brian Kocourek

 

Last Sunday We examined Dating or rather courtship as it is more biblically know, and we looked at the first and most important question concerning this topic, and that is WHO. Who Should I date and WHO should I not date. This morning I would like to focus our thoughts on the WHAT question. What should I look for in my mate and if I do date, what should we do on this date?

 

First of all, last week we found our answer to the WHO question in God’s Word, II CORINTHIANS 6:14 which tells us,     Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?  15    And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?  16    And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in [them]; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.   17    Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean [thing]; and I will receive you,   18    And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

 

Therefore we established that you should never even consider an unbeliever.  Don’t think that they will change, 99% of the time they won’t.  The problem is that you look only skin deep and you don’t see into the soul. You look at her outward beauty or his good looks and you think, they must be beautiful inside as well, and you are so mistaken. Unless they have God in their life, there is no inward beauty. But you say to your self, I know I can change them. But you are only fooling yourself, and talking yourself into a life-long heartache and sorrow. They marry miss Beauty queen or Mr. Hunk a doodle, and then they wonder why they  have problems in their marriage. You think you can change them, but you are wrong. If God can’t get a hold of them and straighten out their life, what good do you think your efforts will do?

 

JEREMIAH 13:22  And if you say in your heart why have these things come upon me? The answer is, For the greatness of your iniquity is your long robe pulled aside showing you as a slave who suffers much violence. Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard change his spots? Then also can anyone do good who are accustomed and taught, even trained  to do evil? Therefore I will scatter you as chaff  driven away by the desert winds. This is your lot, the portion measured to you from me, says the lord, because you have forgotten me and trusted in falsehoods and false alliances.

 

Why does God tell us to train them up when they are young? Because when they get old they will not depart from what training they had as youngsters.   Here’s another thing to remember? Genesis 1: 11, every seed will bring forth after it’s kind, after it’s nature.  Now, take that into consideration and it will tell you a lot about that person you are planning to date. What is the mother like, How does she treat her husband? Doe she respect her husband or does she not. If you want to know how the girl will respect you as her head, watch how she treats her father, watch how her mother treats her husband. 

 

 EZEKIEL 16:44    Behold, every one that useth proverbs shall use [this] proverb against thee, saying, As [is] the mother, [so is] her daughter.  45    Thou [art] thy mother's daughter, that lotheth her husband and her children; and thou [art] the sister of thy sisters, which lothed their husbands and their children: your mother [was] an Hittite, and your father an Amorite.  46    And thine elder sister [is] Samaria, she and her daughters that dwell at thy left hand: and thy younger sister, that dwelleth at thy right hand, [is] Sodom and her daughters.  47    Yet hast thou not walked after their ways, nor done after their abominations: but, as [if that were] a very little [thing], thou wast corrupted more than they in all thy ways.  48    [As] I live, saith the Lord GOD, Sodom thy sister hath not done, she nor her daughters, as thou hast done, thou and thy daughters.  49    Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.  50    And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw [good].

 

And if you want to see how he will treat you, watch how he treats his mother and sisters. Does he use restraint in his speech, is he polite?  Or does he say whatever he feels like saying.   And look at her? How does she treat her mother? Does she treat your mother and her mother the same? If not, she’s putting on the dog. Is she polite? Does she have manners? Or does she just say whatever comes to her mind. You might say, well I don’t care about manners because she’s so beautiful. But let me tell you one thing, those looks last but for a few years, without the assistance of  something false. False lips, false eyelashes, false teeth, false this and false that. 

And when that happens, there is one thing that remains, and that is her character. And if her character is not that of someone who is constantly trying to do good, and who is living for others, then if you go any further in that relationship, you have just entered the twilight zone. 

 

HEAR YE HIM 57-0519A  It's your character, your conduct that gives God confidence in you.

 

BELIEVE FROM THE HEART   57-0623  013  Now, if you notice a man is known by his character and his character is known by his works. If we would think of how God shows His character by His works... He's got His own character, and He made His works, and if you look at His works, how great they are.

 

IDENTIFICATION  63-0123    070   In the days of Elijah what side would you have took? Or in the days of Moses, when there was a message of God thoroughly a vindicated (Now, listen.), in your present character... You say, "I'm a Christian." All right. I'm just going to ask you. Your present character, what stand would you have took when Dathan raised up and said, "Now, wait just a minute. There's more holy men around here besides you, Moses. We'll just get a group of men and make us a big affair here. And the first thing you know we'll have bishops, and archbishops, and everything else around here. And God's in His people the whole thing. Don't think that you're the only pebble on the beach."

 

Now, then, how do we develop the right character? How do we train ourselves? Is there anything we can do to change our character? Yes there is… And brother Branham came to tell us how.

 

IDENTIFICATION  64-0216   039   Now, if you find your place, sister, don't let me hurt you, brother, but you'll find your place in the Word as a Christian. Not what the creed said, that's down here in this lower cannon fodder that's going to be destroyed. See? You find your place as a Christian, because your character is molded as Christ. You're Zoe, the same as He was Zoe. Then if the Bible said for a woman not to cut her hair, how can you do it? It says a man's the ruler of the house. How can you women be? What's the matter with you men as sons of God? See? See, you don't find your place. See?  Watch now.  You're invited to come and take His character. By having His character in you, it molds you into the same mind that He was. And His mind was always to do what the Father had ordained Him to do. He said, "Search the Scripture. They testify of Me." In other words, "If I don't do exactly what the Scripture said I'm to do, then show Me where."   040   Now, what if God stood on the platform today and said, "What's required of a Christian?" Then where would we all be. See? The character isn't expressing itself. His mind was to stay with the Father's Word. Their mind was to... The same mind was in them, was to be in us. And if His mind is in us, we'll do like He did. If His character's in us, we'll be as He was. Is that right?

 

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? That is a popular saying today among the evangelicals, and yet they really don'’ understand what that really means.

 

And WHAT DID JESUS SAY? “The Son can of Himself do nothing, what He seeth the Father do, that the Son doeth likewise”  John 5:19.

 

JOHN 5:30   I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.

 

If we want the same character that Jesus had, then we have got to learn to be obedient to God’s Word.  Because that is the greatest Attribute of Son-ship that Jesus displayed. Obedience to the Father. And if we are to receive in us this same character, we must come the way Jesus came, by the Word of God.

 

You say, “Well, Jesus had the character of God!” But how did Jesus come by this character? Was He born with it? NO! Paul said, HEBREWS 5:8   Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;  9 And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;

 

For it is the Word that will mold our character to be fashioned to His glorious nature. II TIMOTHY 3:16  All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works. And the word correction here is a Greek word   epanorthosis    {ep-an-or'-tho-sis}  which means restoration to an upright life, improvement in life or character, in other words, to fashion the character.  From the Message, It is I be not Afraid 62-0726   Now, spiritually when we're born of God. That changes our character.

 

117-1 SMYRAEAN CHURCH AGE  -  CHPTR 4  In Romans 8:17-18, "And if children, then heirs, heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with Him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Unless we suffer with Him we cannot reign with Him. You have to suffer to reign. The reason for this is that character simply is never made without suffering. Character is a VICTORY, not a gift. A man without character can't reign because power apart from character is Satanic. But power with character is fit to rule. And since He wants us to share even His throne on the same basis that He overcame and is set down in His Father's throne, then we have to overcome to sit with Him. And the little temporary suffering we go through now is not worthy to be compared to the tremendous glory that will be revealed in us when He comes. Oh, what treasures are laid up for those who are willing to enter into His kingdom through much tribulation.  "Think it not strange concerning the fiery trials that are to try you." That is what Peter said. Is it strange that God wants us to develop a Christ-like character that comes through suffering? No sir. And we all have trials. We are all tried and chastened as sons. Not one but goes through that. The church that is not suffering, and is not being tried, hasn't got it--it isn't of God. Heb. 12:6, "For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth. But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons."

 

PROVERBS 3:11    My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:   12    For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son [in whom] he delighteth.

 

PROVERBS 22:1       Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

 

PROVERBS 23:12      Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.  13    Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.  14    Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

 

JEREMIAH 5:3  O LORD, [are] not thine eyes upon the truth? thou hast stricken them, but they have not grieved; thou hast consumed them, [but] they have refused to receive correction: they have made their faces harder than a rock; they have refused to return. 4 Therefore I said, Surely these [are] poor; they are foolish: for they know not the way of the LORD, [nor] the judgment of their God. 5 I will get me unto the great men, and will speak unto them; for they have known the way of the LORD, [and] the judgment of their God: but these have altogether broken the yoke, [and] burst the bonds.

 

And what we look for in a mate should never be looks which are fleeting, we should look for character. You boys, look at the girls hands, if they are soft and perfumy, stay away from that one, she hasn’t cut her weight, she’ll never make a help-mate. She’ll be a noose around your neck.

 

Kindman Redeemer 47 60-1002 "Hatred had a beginning so it has to have an end. Love had no beginning, so it has no end. Hatred is forever. Love is eternal. Hatred begins and hatred will end. Love never did begin and it never will end (See?); it's eternal. And when a man loves a woman and marries her because she's just pretty, there'll be an end to that. But when a man finds a woman that he loves, he don't know why, but he loves her... And she finds the man that she loves, no matter what he looks like... He loves her. She loves him. That's an eternal mate in glory. They'll... Death nor nothing else can ever separate them. Because they are from eternity, and they stepped out into space of time, and will return back to eternity. Eternity has dropped down in a body called time, then it goes right back up into eternity again. It cannot perish.

 

When you love, not because of looks, then you know you have something that is eternal. LIFE STORY 50-0200   031   Now, now, I guess you wonder how I ever got married. Well, when I met my wife, she was a Christian girl, very lovely Christian girl. And I was then about twenty-three, twenty-four years old. She very sweet humble character. And I met her. And I--I'd take her to church, and she went to church. And she was a very fine lovely woman. All these people here, my friends from Jeffersonville setting here in front of me knows her, or knew her, and how a lovely woman she was. She's in her grave today. But that's her body. Her soul's in--with Christ. And she was a very lovely Christian character.

 

And you girls, what about the man? Brother Branham said, LIFE 58-0512   Man's not measured by muscles; that's beast, brute. Man's measured by character. And if you're a son of God, you're measured by your character.”

 

 

LAMB AND DOVE 60-0805  Man's measured by character. There never was a man like Jesus Christ, never measured up to Him. And the Bible said, "There's no beauty we should desire Him." Didn't look like a King; He was a little, bitty Fellow, probably stooped, little small in statue, but there never was a man like Him. Man is measured by character, not by brutal strength.

 

CHOOSING OF A BRIDE  65-0429E

     027   So you must make the right choice. Again, the kind of a woman that a man would choose will reflect his ambition and his character. If a man chooses the wrong woman, it reflects his character. And what he ties himself to shows truly what's in him. A woman reflects what's in the man when he chooses her for wife. It shows what's down in him. No matter what he says outside, watch what he marries. I go to a man's office and he says he's a Christian, pinups all around on the walls, that old boogie-woogie music going on, I don't care what he says; I don't believe his testimony; because his spirit's feeding on them things of the world. What say if he would marry a chorus girl, or what if he'd marry a sex queen, or just a pretty modern Ricketta? It reflects; it shows what he has in his mind of what his future home's going to be, because he took her to raise his children by, and whatever she is, that's the way she'll raise those children. So it reflects what's in the man. A man that takes a woman like that shows just what he is thinking of the future. Could you imagine a Christian doing a thing like that? No, sir, I could not. A true Christian will not look for such beauty queens, and chorus girls, and sex queens. He'll look for Christian character.

   028   Now, you can't have all things. There might be one girl that's real pretty, and the other girl maybe she's a--her statue looks better than this one. And you might have to sacrifice one for the other. But if she's not the statue of a lady, of a woman, and she's... I don't care whether she's pretty or not, you'd better look at her character, whether she's pretty or not pretty. Now... For it is becoming if a Christian would choose a wife, he ought to choose a genuine borned again woman. Regardless of what she looks like, it's what she is what makes her. And then again, that reflects his own godly character and reflects what's in his mind and what's going to be in the future, for his family will be raised by such a woman, for the future plans for his home. If he marries one of these little modern Rickettas, sex queens, what could he expect? What kind of home could a man expect to have? If he marries a girl that ain't got enough moral about her to stay home and take care of a house and wants to work out in somebody's office, what kind of a housekeeper will she be? You'll have baby-setters and everything else. It's true.

   029   Now, I'm not much of this modernistic taste of women working. When I seen these women with these uniforms on riding around in this city on motorcycles as police, it's a disgrace to the--any city that'd let a woman do that as many men that's without work. It shows the modern thinking of our city; it shows the degrading. We don't have to have them women out there like that. They ain't got no business out there like that. When God gave a man a wife, He gave him the best thing He could give him outside of salvation; but when one goes to trying to take a man's place, then she's about the worse thing that he could get ahold of. Now, that's right. Now, we can see the spiritual application. I--I know that's bad. You think it's bad, but it's the truth. We don't care how bad it is; we've got to face up to the facts. That's what the Bible teaches. See?

    030   Now, we here see plainly the spiritual plan of God's planning for His future home with His future Bride comes into view now. If a man marries a sex queen, you see what he's looking for for the future. If a man marries a woman that won't stay home, you see what he's looking for in the future.

 

You watch the women and see how they act around their husbands. See how they treat their husbands, and I’ll tell you if they have been out in the workforce or not. Let me see how a woman treats her husband, let me see what level of respect she has for him, and I’ll tell you what kind of job she’s had and who she’s mingled with on her job. I watch these things, God didn’t set me over this church for no reason. He set me here as a watchman to look out for your souls.  I’ve been pastoring for 18 years now, and preaching this message in one fashion or another for 25 years,  and during that time, I’ve seen sisters who I’ve admired for their sweetness and charity towards others go out and get themselves a job, and the next thing you know, they start treating others rudely, they lose the common decency and courtesies and  politeness they once had, and become rude and quick with their comments. And when this happens, they begin to distance themselves, and when that happens, spiritual death starts setting in. we’ve proven that by this Word. They become neurotics, and like cancer, it creeps in and takes on a strangle hold.

 

Now, what causes that. It’s your associations, the people you talk to the things you say, it creates an atmosphere.  There’s an old expression, “If you sleep with the dogs you’ll wake up with ticks.”

 

UNCERTAIN SOUND 61-0429E   010   Traveling around from nation to nation, I find that everyone seems to be nervous. And the psychic wards are filling up. And the people are... Down the street, there seems to be so much anxiety, and rush just as hard as they can, till they don't have courtesy even, one for the other. And I've noticed it amongst all people. Here recently, I was having a meeting in a certain place, where there was a parking ground. And I noticed amongst our Pentecostal people, pulling their cars sideways, this a way. If they'd just pulled it in straight, it would give somebody else a chance. And they have some Pentecostal cursing. I don't know whether you ever heard of it or not.   011   They go down the road at night, and the man will dim his lights, and the next man won't even dim his lights, just go on, pay no attention to it. Let him go, and blind him as necessary. That's Pentecostal cursing. You see? "Let him alone, he ought..." We shouldn't do that, no matter what the other fellow does. Let's--let's show what we're made out of. If... Let's get something down in here to show love and respects. And respect the next man and--and love him, whether he's right or wrong. If you can just love those who love you, why, the sinners do the same thing. But we're different. When Christ has come into our heart, we love those who do not love us. Love the unlovable. And we were unlovable one time too, you know. And Christ loved us until we came to Him. And then if we be of Christ and Christ is in us, we have that same Spirit of fellowship, and cooperation, and helping to try to move the great load, and make life a little easier for our fellow man.

 

IT IS I 61-0517  All servants of Christ are kind. You believe that? They like to show courtesy to those who are needy: helps the blind across the street, bring them to the meeting. Do things kind. When the neighbor's sick, go help them, never expect money. Do good to others. All Christ's servants are like that. They like to help those who are run down and tramped over.

 

You want to know what a person thinks of you, watch how they treat your children. Brother Branham said,  If you love me, you’ll love my children, if you want to do something nice for me, do it for my children.    Well, I’ve seen them throw their wash water in the face of my kids, and laugh while doing it.  I’ve seen them grab my child and shake them until it looked like their little head was going to fall off, and then come out among the crowd just as spiritual and pious as can be.  But I’ve also seen some treat my children wonderfully, and I know this is because of their respect for me, and I appreciate that more than you will ever know.  

 

BLIND BARTIMAEUS 61-0124  We're taught as Christians, His disciples, to honor and be kind and true. That's... All Christians do that, show courtesy.

 

You can say all you want about it, but the way you treat others shows your character, and shows whether you are Christian or not.

 

BE NOT AFRAID 61-0311   You know, anybody that serves the Lord Jesus is a gentleman (See?), courteous.

 

BE.NOT AFRAID IT IS I 61-0414   057   And I want to say something here. His followers always show courtesy to everybody in their life. You see? They're ready to help somebody, ready to do something for somebody else, His true followers.

 

HEAR YE HIM 57-0519A  It's your character, your conduct that gives God confidence in you.

 

Therefore, in finding a spouse, don’t just look for a good provider, you girls, look for character. Look for the person who you love to be around, through richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part, and remember, if you find that kind of person, you never will part for you are eternal mates, as brother Branham put it.

 

EXPLAINING HEALING AND JAIRUS 54-0216    E-37   037   You are now. Now, we're sons of God. Now, we're seated together in heavenly places. Now, we have all powers in heavens and the earth. See? Now, we have it. Not in the millennium, we won't need it then. We got it now.  Right now we are the sons of God. "It does not appear what we shall be, but we know we'll be like Him." What you are here is a reflection of what you are somewhere else. "Those who He called, He justifies." Is that right? "Those who He justified, He has glorified." Already in the Presence of the Father, we have a glorified body. Whew! Wasn't that deep? All right. We'll find out whether it's right or not. "If this earthly tabernacle be dissolved, we have one already waiting." Is that right? That's right. So right now, and what we are here, is a reflection of what we are somewhere else. So if your deeds are evil, you know where it comes from. You know where your other body's a waiting.