Preparation #32 (Dating, The What
and When?)
Sunday,
August1 8, 1999
Brian Kocourek
Last Sunday we again examined the area of dating and
courtship, and thus far have looked into the WHO should I court, which we found
in II CORINTHIANS 6:14, Be ye not unequally
yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with
unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with
darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16
And what agreement hath the
Therefore we established that you should never even
consider an unbeliever. You should not ever enter a relationship thinking there
are things that will change or things you will change in the other person. The
odds are it will never happen. And the
problem is that we enter relationships anyhow, knowing full well there are
things that are wrong to begin with and we stubbornly think we can get the
person to somehow change just because we marry them. This is just dreaming and
will never happen.
JEREMIAH
We found that God tells us to train up a child when
they are young because
when they get old they will not depart from what training they had as
youngsters. Another reason you should never marry an
unbeliever is Genesis 1: 11, every seed will bring forth after it’s kind,
after it’s nature. Now, take that
into consideration and it will tell you a lot about that person you are
planning to date. What is the mother like, How does
she treat her husband? Doe she respect her husband or
does she not. If you want to know how the girl will respect you as her head,
watch how she treats her father, watch how her mother
treats her husband.
EZEKIEL
We then
looked at character, or the what of courtship. "What
should I look for in the person I am going to court!"
IDENTIFICATION 64-0216
039 Now, if you find your place,
sister, don't let me hurt you, brother, but you'll find your place in the Word
as a Christian. Not what the creed said, that's down
here in this lower cannon fodder that's going to be destroyed. See? You find
your place as a Christian, because your character is molded as Christ. You're Zoe, the same as He was Zoe. Then
if the Bible said for a woman not to cut her hair, how can you do it? It says a
man's the ruler of the house. How can you women be? What's the matter with you
men as sons of God? See? See, you don't find your place. See? Watch now.
You're invited to come and take
His character. By having His character in you, it molds you into the same mind
that He was. And His mind was always
to do what the Father had ordained Him to do. He said, "Search the
Scripture. They testify of Me." In other words,
"If I don't do exactly what the Scripture said I'm to do, then show Me where." 040 Now,
what if God stood on the platform today and said, "What's required of a
Christian?" Then where would we all be. See? The character isn't
expressing itself. His mind was to stay
with the Father's Word. Their mind was to... The same mind was in them, was to be in us. And if His mind is in us, we'll do like He did.
If His character's in us, we'll be as He was. Is that right?
And what was
the character of the Son of God? He said, "The Son can of Himself do nothing, what He seeth the Father do, that the Son doeth likewise” John
And how do we receive his Character? 2
Peter 1: 2-4… For
it is the Word that will mold our character to be fashioned to His glorious
nature.
II Timothy 3:16 All scripture
[is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for
reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17
That the man of God may be perfect, throughly
furnished unto all good works. And
the word correction here is a Greek word
epanorthosis {ep-an-or'-tho-sis} which means restoration
to an upright life, improvement in life or character, in other words, to
fashion the character.
From the Message, It is I be not
Afraid 62-0726 Now,
spiritually when we're born of God. That changes our character.
117-1
Be Not
Afraid It Is I 61-0414 057 And I want to say something here. His
followers always show courtesy to everybody in their life. You see? They're
ready to help somebody, ready to do something for somebody else, His true
followers.
Hear Ye Him
57-0519A It's your
character, your conduct that gives God confidence in you.
Therefore, in finding a spouse, don’t just look for a
good provider, you girls, look for character. Look for the person who you love
to be around, through richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death
do you part, and remember, if you find that kind of person, you never will part
for you are eternal mates, as brother Branham put it.
Now, this morning I would like to continue on in our
study of Courtship and I would like to examine the next question that comes to
mind and that is the WHEN question. Now,
when we speak of the When Question, there is but one thought in mind and that
is when should I begin courtship. I believe that you should be old enough to marry.
If you are not old enough and mature enough to marry, then you are not old
enough to court. We do not believe in
the world's view of dating around to experience as many potential partners as
you can before making up your mind. That is not God's way. That way of thinking may have began in the
50's as a way which seemed right, but it was the way of death, and has led to
both spiritual death and physical death as well.
Always remember,
Proverbs
And always remember, man's ways will always lead to
death, because life can only come from the revealed Word of God. Man thought in his reasoning that a person
should shop around and so in the 50's dating around began to be taught and even
advised, and look what has happened. The divorce rate has risen tremendously
and the venereal disease rate has gone through the roof. Because the people
once they left the Word, and tried to do
things the world's way, kept going further and further away from the Word until
they began to sleep together thinking they would try out the wares before they
purchased them.
It began by "Shopping around, then it led to
sleeping around,". And this led to death.
We founf the scriptural way
is one man, one woman for life. Why? Because we read in I CORINTHIANS
And in the beginning God said, Genesis
Matthew 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye
not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and
female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave
father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one
flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one
flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
We found that the process of this becoming one flesh
takes place through the
passing back and forth of the body fluids and when body fluids
are passed back and forth, they actually transfer DNA from one to the other.
That is why a man who has sex with a woman who has had sex with 10 others is
actually taking into his body a transfer of DNA from all 11 people. And if
those 10 had sex with 10 others, now you are polluting your gene pool even
greater with the DNA of 101.
Now, if the Serpent polluted the Life stream of Lamb
Life in the beginning by passing his seed into Eve, and look what damage it has
done to mankind, just think what damage is being done today with all the
illicit running around that is being done by men and women, boys and girls.
But our government thought they could teach sex
education to control venereal disease. They have succeeded all right. They have
taught the young minds of mush to do whatever they please and this has led to broken homes, broken
families, and a broken human gene pool.
Matthew
24:22 And except those days should be shortened,
there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be
shortened.
Now, this morning we are looking at when? The When
question. When should I court? To do so, let's look again to the Word of God for our answer.
Psalms 37:9 For
evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall
inherit the earth. 10 For yet a little while, and the
wicked [shall] not [be]: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it
[shall] not [be]. 11 But the meek
shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
Now, you might ask, what does this scripture have to
do with dating and courtship. The answer lies in the
plan of God for your life. As I stated before, you should not court until you are ready for
marriage. You should begin doing things in a group setting, because that will
save you and her the embarrassment and heart ache of
breaking up. It will allow you to see the person in a social setting, how they
conduct themselves around others. Do they hold to the Word of God or are they
self centered. You can find out an awful lot about another person in a social
setting.
These young kids that get together today and think
they have to spend al their time together are robbing themselves of life. Even
a married couple does not cut themselves off from fellowship in a group setting
unless there is something wrong spiritually or some deep seated emotional
problem.
Usually what this is, is the girl becomes very
possessive and thinks that somehow she might lose her man, and she then begins
to find excuses to keep away from the group setting, and before you know it,
she is spending all her time with the man, and he with her, and they have cut
themselves off from growth which comes from interacting with others.
For you parents, the rule should be that your son or
your daughter do not see each other privately and
alone. And if you allow this you are asking for a hurried courtship. And one that is hurried is one that is out of
control. I have seen young kids get
together and because the parents have a milk bone instead of a backbone, those
kids almost live at one another's home, and that is
not healthy. No, it is not healthy spiritually nor is it healthy emotionally.
People need time to themselves to think through these things. This is a very
important step in life and if you rush it, you will most often be sorry you
did. Most of the time it is the girl who
has been told by society that if she isn't married at a young age, or before
she's 20, her odds for marriage grow less and less with each passing year. This
is plain and utter nonsense.
Let me share
a story with you from the book, Preparing for marriage by Dennis Rainey. …
Isaiah 40:28 Hast thou not
known? hast thou not heard, [that] the everlasting
God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth
not, neither is weary? [there is] no searching of his
understanding. 29 He giveth power
to the faint (to those who have grown tired) ; and to [them that have] no strength, he increaseth
strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint (become tired ) and be weary, and the young men shall utterly
fall: 31 But they that wait upon the LORD, (those that place their hope in the Lord) shall renew [their] strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary;
[and] they shall walk, and not faint.
And here is
the clue how we should run in this race…. Hebrews 12:1 ¶ Wherefore
seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us
lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that
is set before us, 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher
of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,
despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of
God. 3 For consider him that endured such
contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your
minds.
Let us run with patience…. How? Looking unto Jesus the author and
finisher of [our] faith… Now, we are told that they that hope in the Lord
will wait patiently for the promise…
PSALMS 37:7 ¶ Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently
for him:
Hebrews 6:13
For when God made promise to Abraham, because
he could swear by no greater, he sware by
himself, 14 Saying, Surely blessing I will bless thee,
and multiplying I will multiply thee.
15 And so, after he had
patiently endured, he obtained the promise.
Psalms 40:1 ¶ I waited patiently for the LORD; and
he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
Ecclesiastes
7:8 Better [is] the end
of a thing than the beginning thereof: [and] the patient in spirit [is] better
than the proud in spirit.
Luke 21:19 In your patience possess ye your souls.
Romans 15:4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime
were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the
scriptures might have hope. 5 ¶ Now the God of patience and consolation grant
you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus:
In Hebrews
6:12, we read that through faith and
patience we inherit the promises.
Romans 5:2 By whom also we
have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of
the glory of God. 3 And not only [so], but we glory in
tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh
patience; 4 And patience,
experience; and experience, hope: 5 And hope maketh
not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy
Ghost which is given unto us.
Romans 8:25 But if we hope for that we see not, [then]
do we with patience wait for [it]. 26 ¶
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our
infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the
Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27
And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what
[is] the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh
intercession for the saints according to [the will of] God. 28 And we know that all things work together
for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his]
purpose. 29
¶ For whom he did foreknow, he also did
predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be
the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he
also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified,
them he also glorified. 31
¶ What shall we
then say to these things? If God [be] for us, who [can be] against us?
Kinsman Redeemer 60-1002 when a man
loves a woman and marries her because she's just pretty, there'll be an end to
that. But when a man finds a woman that he loves, he don't
know why, but he loves her... And she finds the man that she loves, no matter
what he looks like... He loves her. She loves him. That's an eternal mate in
glory. They'll... Death nor nothing else can ever
separate them. Because they are from eternity, and
they stepped out into space of time, and will return back to eternity. Eternity
has dropped down in a body called time, then it goes right back up into
eternity again. It cannot perish.
Be Certain
Of God 59-0708E We know that we
have Your Word saying, "According to their faith, they shall
receive." Give to them faith tonight, Lord, and may
they be certain that every promise of God is true, if they'll only wait. For it
is written, "They that wait upon
the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as an
eagle; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
Lord, teach us to wait upon Thee; lay hold of Eternal Life and every promise in the Bible, and wait upon
Thee for salvation of our souls, for the baptism of the Holy Spirit, for
joy in our hearts, for healing of our bodies, for every redemptive blessing
that You died for at Calvary. Let us have faith tonight to know that God did
not cause Christ to suffer in vain. That was for all generations. For it is
written, "Whosoever will, let him come." While we are coming, Lord,
grant that we will receive, for we ask it in Jesus' Name, Thy Son, as we commit
it to Thee. Amen.