Spoken Word no 129
Husband Love
your wife even as Christ loved the Church
Brian Kocourek, Pastor
November 28, 2009
This
evening I would like to take for our text Ephesians
5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also
loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having
spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own
bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no
man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the
Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two
shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I
speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless
let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the
wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Now, in
the Spoken Word is the original Seed, brother Branham says in paragraph 100 "Christ"
means "the anointed One," a Man that was anointed. And God dwelling
in Him, what was it? The germ with the flesh, the anointed One, flesh being
anointed with the Spirit of God produced the Word of God made manifest. "And we beheld Him, the only begotten of the Father, full of
grace..." See? There He was. See? He was
God's Word made manifest. And now He died in order to pay the debt of your
hybreeding (my, my, there it is, what is it?), that you could die to yourself
until you're no more yourself …
Now, I want you to notice that Brother Branham is speaking
of how Christ laid down his life for the brethren just as Paul told us in
Ephesians 5 how that Christ expressed His Love by giving his life for the
Church. Therefore since this evening is a communion night, I would like to take
a little dedicational message so that we might understand this kind of Love
that Christ had for His Church, His Bride, so that we might understand the kind
of love that we should have in our life s well.
I read an article sometime ago by Rabbi Frand
concerning Marriage and he said some things that I thought were noteworthy, and
I found some very enlightening thoughts from Brother Branham and some Scripture
that all came together to express the Love that Christ had for the church and
the love a man is to have for his wife.
Now, we are all aware that God Himself established the
institution of marriage with Adam and eve shortly after the creation of man.
Now, when we study the Bible, “it almost seems as though Eve was created as an
afterthought,” (1) because when we read the story of the Creation in Genesis
1:26-28 we see that Adam was created a spirit being that was both male and
female.
Genesis 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after
our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the
fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every
creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So
God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be
fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have
dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every
living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Now, we know from Genesis 1:26-28 man was created a spirit
being. Listen to what brother Branham had to say about that from his sermon Faithful Abraham 61-0312
P:55 Now,
this first man, Adam, look at him. In spirit he was both feminish and
masculine. And then he was made flesh. And he had no helpmate. Then God... A
woman is not in the original creation of God. She's a byproduct of the man. So
to make them one, to show what He did, He opened up the side of Adam, and took
a part of Adam's flesh (so that they wouldn't be separated, they'd be one), and
took part of Adam's spirit, part of Adam's flesh, took the feminish spirit off
of Adam and made an Eve. And when you see a woman, the way some of our modern
women, hair cuts like men, smoke like men, cuss like men... You see a woman
that wants to be masculine, there's a perversion there somewhere. And when you
see a man sissified with a look like a duck setting on the back of his head,
and so forth like that, and wants to wear women's clothes all the time, there's
something perverted there somewhere. God made men to be men, and women to be
women. The Bible said...
Again from his sermon, Seed shall not be heir with the shuck
65-0429B P:24 he said, That's what the church is doing today, for Jesus
is the Word, and He is the Bridegroom, and the Bride is a part of the Groom. Therefore,
the Word that's to be fulfilled this day is the same part of the Word that was
fulfilled in His day, and it's the same Word, same experience, same Life. For
when God separated Adam, we find out, Adam was spirit to begin with. "He
made man in His own image, created He male and female." And then, Genesis
2 and on, He created man out of the dust of the earth. Man was created in God's
image (God is a Spirit.), so he's a spirit man. Then when he become flesh man,
animal flesh on the earth, He's showing, portraying here the Bride. He never
taken and made another being, but he took part of Adam, the original creation,
took from him, a rib from his side; and took the feminish spirit out of Adam,
left the masculine spirit in there, and placed it in the feminish part.
Therefore, part of his spirit, part of his body: flesh of his flesh, bone of
his bone, Word of His Word, Life of His Life, and that's the way the Bride is
to Christ. That's why the rapture of the royal Seed has to come first. And the
rest of the dead live not for a thousand years, then they were brought up at
the white throne judgment. See, there is no judgment to the royal Seed, or the
predestinated Seed of Abraham.
Notice in chapter two Adam was all alone. All other creation
had two of every specie, one male and one female, but Adam was alone. Notice
God’s comment about this in “Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the
man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
Notice in Genesis 1:26-28 God made man a spirit being first,
and in this state he was both male and female, but when God placed him in the
flesh in order to till the soil and express the Life that was in his spirit,
why did the all knowing God wait to see Adam all alone before He said it was
not good for him to be alone. Now, the ignorant would say that it looks like
God made a mistake and corrected His mistake by separating eve from Adam to
make two beings. But it was not a mistake. You see, God made all of creation,
every specie He created, he made one male and one female in order to procreate
and replenish the earth. But when he created man as a spirit being, he made man
in his own image and after his own likeness. And if Adam was to procreate in
that form, it would have been the same way God did it, through the Spoken Word.
With Adam, he did not make two beings; one male and the other female, He made
Adam one being who was both male and female.
So why did God, after putting skin on this unique being that
was both male and female, why did God say it was “not good for man to dwell alone”?
That is the question I would like to address this evening.
“Why was it necessary for God to make Eve into a separate being?
Wouldn’t it have been more convenient and more self-sufficient for Adam to be
able to bear and raise children without the need for another person?” (2) Isn’t that what the women’s liberation movement desires?
Don’t they promote having children without having to go through marriage to do
so? And in some cases without man involved?
And why is that? Because of their sinful self centric nature.
Notice, in Genesis 2:18 God said, "It is not
good that the man should
be alone." Therefore, there is something that is “not good” about “being
alone”. The entire purpose of our relationship with our Heavenly
Father and our understanding the relationship that He had with His firstborn
son Jesus, is that God, our father,
wants us to come to the same maturity in our relationship with Him and
His whole family, as His uniquely born son did. And it is very, very difficult
to do that alone. One of the most meaningful ways of building character is by
living for others. In fact brother Branham said, the evidence that you have
Eternal Life is that you live for others, for Eternal Life is living for
others.
From his sermon, That
day on
You see, as sons created in the image of God, and given His
God-Life, God did not give us his own Life so that we can be selfish with it,
He gave it to us to give it to others, to share our life and our being with
others, and that is what eternal life is all about. And in every family the
sons and daughters must learn to live for each other and do for each other or
that household is in a lot of trouble, and their will be total chaos inside
those walls that make up that house.
Paul said in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands,
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
She was not made your help mate so
you can put all the work on her and sit back and command her to come and wash
your feet. A man that would act that way is a selfish pig, he’s not a man.
Brother Branham taught us that in his sermon That day on Calvary
60-0925 P:38 where he said, “He was
just one Man, the perfect
And the church that has no desire to help others outside
their own fold, I doubt the people are born again. I doubt that they have
eternal life. For you see, it is almost impossible to isolate yourself and live
for others. How are you ever going to mature and be conformed to the image of
the first born son if you isolate yourself from others.
Had Adam stayed all alone, he would have lacked what is
necessary to become a mature son of God.
When
we entered into this world as an immature being, a baby… we were what would be
called consummate takers. (3)
Everyone who is born into this world, comes into it as an
immature baby that is totally consumed with themself. Anyone who has had a baby or has been in
close contact with one knows that babies are the greatest takers. They never worry about anyone else. Their entire focus in
life is to be fed, warm, dry, and cuddled, and they have absolutely no interest
in how their needs affect you. They couldn’t care less whether you had a hard
day or whether you haven’t slept for two nights. Their motto is, “Feed me;
clothe me; diaper me; burp me; love me; take care of me.” (4)
All of us, every one of us were born that way. That’s the
way we came into this world, but that is not the way we are supposed to leave
it. “Self centered, self centric, self-absorbed, little, immature narcissistic
babies.” But the purpose of life is to die to self and come to maturity of The
Faith by the knowledge of the Son of God. And if you do that you will not
remain a taker, you will become a giver. You may have come into this world self
absorbed, but you will not remain that way, because you will learn to your will
die to yourself, so that Christ (the firstborn, adopted son of God Life) might
live in you.
Now, for any family to live harmoniously, it must live for
each other. And it begins with marriage. Yes, this is where most people learn
to step aside from self and they learn to live for others. And any marriage
where either the man or woman is not willing to die to self, that marriage is
doomed for failure. Marriage is where we must learn to make the switch from taker to giver. Marriage
requires us to undergo this change or the marriage will not last.
In marriage, you can no longer think primarily about
yourself. Paul said, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it; and he said, wives, submit yourself unto your
own husbands as unto the Lord. Marriage is not a union of one, It is
not a lording of one over the other. Marriage is a coming together of two
individuals who complement each other and who build a blessed union based on a
common love that is so strong between them that they cannot live apart from
each other.
Over the years I have counseled various young men who were
seeking marriage, and I have told them, Marriage
is not about self, it is about a union of two beings. Therefore your “me” must
become “we,” and your “I” must become “us.” That is the entire purpose of
marriage, and that is why God said, “It is not good that
man be alone."
This doesn’t mean that it is impossible for a person to come
to maturity outside of marriage. Just look at Jesus and Paul, and Paul said I
wish you were as I am, and he was talking about being single so you can devote
your entire life in servitude to the family of God. But the process of son-ship
is given a real boost when two people because of love come together and learn
to be a giver instead of a taker. There is hardly an better institution than
that of marriage where by two people are thrown into the ideal situation, where
they have someone to whom to give.
Also I want you to understand that our love for others
doesn’t increase when we receive from others. The true way to build love is to give
unconditionally. The Hebrew word “ahavah”, love, is related to the word “hav”,
which means to give. (5) And the Greek word
for God’s Love, “agape” is most often translated as charity, for love is best
expressed in giving. John 3;16 tells us, “For God so loved the world he gave”…
Let me ask you this question. Why do you think people love
their dogs so much? I’ll tell you why. Dog’s don’t talk back, they don’t sass
and they don’t bring on anxiety or heartache, they don’t need clothes, they
don’t need braces, you don’t have to worry about their morals or bending to
peer pressure. So the love they give to
their dog is an unconditional love. They don’t place conditions on what
they do for them? They feed them because they love them. They buy them treats
because they want to express their love for them. That is why people literally love
their dogs. And many dog owners treat their dog a whole lot better than they
treat their own children. I know people, good Godly people who give their dog
more affection than they ever gave their own children. And to those who do, unlike their children, their dog
probably returns their love more than their children do. The dog is always so
happy to see them. But that is not where their love for their dog comes from,
it comes from their unconditional giving.
There are other reasons why Eve was fashioned from Adam. One of
the basic human traits is that we have a difficult time viewing situations in
an objective manner. Our vested interests will taint our view on a matter, even
if we try to ignore it. It is important, therefore, to have the input of an impartial
second party to help us view our lives properly. A spouse plays an important
role that can be fulfilled only by a separate party: a spouse provides a second
opinion. (6)
As
individuals, unless we have already died to self, we all have problems with our
egos, and we tend to become irritated when people tell us what to do – That is
why Paul said, Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Because wives many times have a different opinion on things than
their husbands do, husbands tend to get irritated with their own wives for
speaking up concerning things we perhaps don’t ask their opinion about. In fact
most men don’t ask their wives for their opinion, because they don’t want any
opinion but their own in which they are comfortable with. But that is not a
good thing to do. No man is an island unto himself and so we need input from
outside sources if we are to make a clear and fair assessment of many
situations we must deal with.
I do not care how much a man might know the Word, if he is
only given part of a story he is going to make his conclusions based on only
half truths. So a second opinion always is helpful if we look for it to be so.
But if we are content only with self, then other opinions different from ours
will be more of an irritation than a help, or so some would think. But a mature
person will look for advice from more than one source, and then weigh out that
advice with the Word of God and prayer.
So often we convince ourselves that our own opinions are
right and we are not open to outside opinions, and that is not healthy. And the
beauty of marriage is that it provides us the perfect solution to our own self
centric egos, because God places together opposites to bring us to the middle of
the road on many opinions we carry in life. Without being open to an outside
opinion, leads us to a situation where our own limited knowledge and
subjectivity might cause us to make some very grave errors in judgment. But the
person who is self absorbed, will usually reject sound advice from others
because it was not their own.
So then, marriage is God’s way of doing us a great favor. Rabbi Yissocher Frand pointed out in his article, “God provides us with an insider who can provide us with
an unbiased, loving opinion. A spouse has the advantage of being part of you —
as our Sages said, “Ishto kegufo -- one’s wife is like himself” — but he or she
is also objective enough to tell you, “I’m sorry, but you are viewing this
issue incorrectly.” The Netziv finds an allusion to this idea in the words, “It is not good that
man be alone, I will make for him a helper, corresponding to him [an eizer kenegdo].”
Although the term kenegdo may be translated as “corresponding
to him,” the more common translation is “opposite him or opposing him.”
This leads the Talmud to point out that eizer kenegdo seems to be an oxymoron.
A wife is either a helper to her husband or opposite him. How can she be both?
Therefore, On occasion, the
"helper" must be “opposing him.” (7)
Naphtali Tzvi Judah Berlin
also known as Rebbe Hirsch Leib Berlin, a
famous Russian Jewish writer of the 17th century Jewish explains that a
wife is indeed a helper, but the help may sometimes come in the form of
opposing him. It may be difficult for us to hear our spouses tell us, “Honey,
you’re making a mistake,” but the alternative is to stumble through life
repeating our blunders or committing even greater ones. On occasion, the
"helper" must be “opposing him.” (8)
In closing let let me read to you some things this Rabbi Yissocher Frand had
to say on this subject. “Like everything else in life, "opposing him"
can be overdone. Have you ever noticed that a salt shaker has several holes,
while a pepper shaker has only a few? Food is enhanced by the sharpness of
pepper, but only if it is applied in small measure. Criticism, like pepper,
must be used sparingly. If you lay it on too thick, it has a negative effect.
As we all know, on the very first day of that marriage, God told
Adam that he could partake of the fruit of any tree in the Garden of Eden
except for the Tree of Knowledge. Adam relayed the commandment to Eve, but
before long, the Serpent enticed her into eating from the Tree of Knowledge,
and she, in turn, gave Adam to eat from the tree. This sin affected the world
in the worst possible way, for one of the curses that came upon mankind as a
result of that sin was death.
Directly following the verse in which God informs Adam that he
would eventually die, as would all of his offspring, the Bible states, “The man
called his wife’s name Eve, because she had become the mother of all the
living”.
Have you ever noticed this strange juxtaposition? If we were to
name a person who just brought death upon mankind, we might have been tempted
to call her Misah (death). It may not sound as good as "Chavah
(Eve)," but it certainly would have been appropriate given the situation
that had just unfolded.
At the moment when all seemed bleak, Adam took note of what
chesed, kindness, is all about.
The Talmud (Sotah 14a) states that the Torah begins with
kindness and ends with kindness. The final verses of the Torah deal with God
burying Moses. Performing a burial is called a chesed shel emes, a true
kindness. Where is the chesed at the beginning of the Torah? As a result of
partaking of the Tree of Knowledge, Adam and Eve were suddenly aware of the
fact that they were unclothed, and they became bashful. Although this
bashfulness was a result of their sin, God nevertheless performed a kindness
and made clothing for them. This, says the Talmud, is the first chesed
mentioned in the Torah.
Left to our own devices, we might have assumed that there was an
immeasurable kindness that preceded this one. God had no need for us mortals in
the world. He created us to enable us to reap the reward for our mitzvot. Why
doesn’t the Bible consider the creation of mankind the first kindness in
history
The creation of Adam was indeed a chesed, but not a particularly
difficult one. Adam was the most perfect being ever created, and he was to
perform an important function in the world. But when Adam and Eve sinned,
bringing death and destruction to the pristine new world, they felt terrible
about themselves. When God showed them that He was willing to look beyond their
mistakes and love them and take care of them despite their wrongdoings, that
was a tremendous kindness.
If our marriages are to succeed, we must all learn to look beyond our
spouses’ mistakes.
Adam perceived that, and put that form of chesed into practice.
Eve had committed the greatest mistake imaginable. No one would ever make such
a grave error again. Adam looked at her and said, “You are still Eve. You are
still the mother of all mankind.”
If our marriages are
to succeed, we must all learn to look beyond our spouses’ mistakes. We must
learn not to narrow our focus to the present state of affairs, but to look at
the totality of our relationships and consider all the good our spouses have done
for us.
Don’t dwell on
mistakes. Forgive and forget. Remember, no woman will ever make a greater
mistake than Eve did. Even forgetting to mail the mortgage check is not as bad
as eating from the Tree of Knowledge. (It’s pretty bad, but not as bad.) Look at
the totality of your relationship, and remember that your spouse is the one who
has provided you with so much happiness and blessing.
Patience for the Future
The Hebrew word for marriage is nisu’in, which has its roots in the
word naso, to carry. In marriage, one must carry — and sometimes it can indeed
be a schlep — his or her spouse’s foibles and negative traits, along with the
idiosyncrasies that so endear us to one another.
In our world of
instant communication, we are no longer used to waiting. In order to succeed in
marriage, however, you must have the patience to allow your spouse to change,
to grow, and to overcome the obstacles that he or she has been born with.
People do change, but it takes years. Marriage is not instant. Changing oneself
is not instant. You must learn to have patience with the other person’s foibles
and carry them until they can change.
And that is what
marriage is about — learning to have patience to allow the other person to
become better, and to schlep around their idiosyncrasies until that happens.
Like everything that
is worth having, a happy, successful marriage requires work. But there is not a
more worthwhile investment in the world. Nothing is as rewarding as a good
marriage.
Whether you are a single person -- may God send your soul mate
speedily -- a newlywed, or an old hand at marriage, remember that marriage is
about giving, about caring enough to criticize respectfully, about willing to
forget and to forego -- about willing to make that change from caterpillar to
butterfly.” (9)
Let us bow our heads in prayer….
Articles by Rabbi Yissocher Frand found at http://www.aish.com/search/?author=68536447
(1)(2) (3)
(5) (6) (7) (9)
Rabbi
Chaim of Volozhin (4)
Naphtali Tzvi Judah Berlin also known as Rebbe Hirsch Leib
Berlin, (8)